Athene Numphe

Some people may see this as being passive-agressive, but I don't care. this is my journal and i can write what i want in it, right?

Right now I'm feeling like I give and give and give and don't get anything back in return. Not totally true, I did get some cool stuff from my Secret Sweetheart in my dorm, but I don't even know who that was. :(.

First I gave to Nayone. Who was the one who remembered it was the 11th? ME. Who was the one who suggested getting her a rose? ME. Who had to remind Aerith to get the rose? ME. Who got her a really large Hearsey's Kiss and a card to be given to her on the Glee Club tour because she couldn't be with us on V-day? ME. Have I gotten anything back? No, not really. I mean kisses and looks of appreciation are nice. And I KNOW she's really busy right now and I know she doesn't have much money. But if i could think to buy a card for her right under her nose, she could have done the same. But who knows, maybe she'll have gotten me something nice for when she gets back from the trip.

Then Aerith. Nayone and I got him some candy. Who said vocally that we should do this? ME. Do I get anything in return? No. I get a "I was going to get you something, but I didn't have time." And then later I get a "well, why should I have to express my love for you more on one day? my love has no bounds." Yeah, well...that's fine and all, but we were at a store. He could have gotten me something then with a "go check out that aisle over there."

And Amythyst. My not-a-girlfriend. I even sent her a c-card. Did I get a thank you? Did I get a card back? NO.

WHY ME? HOWCOME NO ONE GETS ME ANYTHING? I WANT MATERIAL THINGS TOO YOU KNOW. Even cybercards are nice. And they are free.

It hurst. And now all you motherfuckers out there are going to post that you do care about me and that you love me a lot and you are going to send me late e-cards and crap. Well, fuck that. If you couldn't think of it on your own I sure as hell don't want your belated sympathy now.

Fuck it. you probably won't do that anyway because no one ever responds to my posts in the first place so who the fuck cares any more????????

I'm suppostesd to be showering. I'm supposted to be doing something nice for Aerith that we talked about. Well fuck it. If he couldn't do something extra special nice for me yesterday I don't feel like do this extra special nice thing for him. And I don't care how fucking disapointed he is. because I am really disapointed right now.