too young?

[athene]

Friday Aerith and I went and got some info on morgages and made appointments to look at 2 apartments for sale in our current complex. We also looked at a place to rent. There is just so much stuff that I didn't even think about that you need to do when buying a place. I guess I would feel better if we had a couple thousand in savings, but we don't.
I feel like I'm too young to be buying a house. That I have a lot of "life" in front of me before I want to "settle down". I don't really know what I'm doing yet. I'm sort of wandering through life right now. I don't think I have the age/wisdom to come to this decision yet. And I'm scared. And I feel trapped. I didn't want to have to think about this for another year, but it is being forced on me. I don't know what to do and I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decission and be misserable for a long time or be stuck in something I can't get out of.

I don't want to be here forever.
I don't want to do this forever.
I wish I knew what I wanted.
I wish my path was laid out clearly before me.
It used to be.
It used to be so simple.
I don't know anymore.

Comments

[zzrg.livejournal.com]

Whatever path you start down, you can change. It is a cosmic rule.

But follow a path, it is so much richer than sitting still. (As I am so prone to doing.)

Too young? **chuckles**

[zisa.livejournal.com]

I'm 43 and feel the same way so don't think it has anything to do with your age! **hugs again**

[autumnkitten.livejournal.com]

Your last sentence struck home with me. "I'm scared that I'll make the wrong decission and be misserable for a long time or be stuck in something I can't get out of."

I got married when i was young. I was in love. but i did not get a chance to explore who i was, so i ended up living someone else dream, striving for their goals, and planning out future based on what they thought.

I did not realize that i did not wanted to be married until after i went to college. I started college late in life, graduated at 34. Paid my own way and in college i realized that i did not want the life i was leading and i did not want to go back to it. My husaband wanted me to become a teacher when i was done with school. i did not! there was no way i wanted to be a teacher, that was what he wanted and not what i wanted. It was painful to get out of this situation. We both got hurt.

You are feeling these things now even before you move into a home with your partner, you should look at what you are doing.

Is this your goal?
Is this your dream?
Is this what you want to be doing?

If not, don't. if you do it, you'll be miserable because you had a chance to get out of the situation before things got financially sticky.

And now think. Can you truly get excited about buying a home after posting these thoughts in to your lj? You should explore who you are before settling down. Buying a home is financially sound and has many benefits. but are they your benefits or someone elses? List the Pros/Cons and see which side wins. and lastly, share your thoughts with your partner. I do not think he knows you feel this way.