Athene Numphe

Today is National Coming Out Day.

Last year I wrote a long post about everything I am. This year I have nothing to add to that post, other than just to say that I'm "queer as frak."

I'm sure you've all heard in the news about the teenagers who are committing suicide after being bullied about being queer/gay/outside of the norm. There's the It Gets Better Project as well as the The Trevor Project. There have also been many calls across the internet to remind us that these bullies are learning this behavior from somewhere, mainly intolerant parents, politicians, and other public figures.

I guess I was lucky. By the time I really figured out that I was queer I was in college (I was questioning by the end of high school) at one of the most liberal and welcoming for queer students colleges in the nation. My parents, family, and friends have been, for the most part, supportive of all of my lifestyle choices (even if they don't understand all of them). That's not to say that I wasn't teased in elementary, middle school, and early high school about other things, but I mostly learned to shrug them off and now I am surrounded by many people who love me, support me, and encourage me. Thank you all.

Today is National Coming Out Day. I think I live my life pretty openly, but just in case things aren't clear, I am officially coming out as a queer, polyamorous, kinky, geeky, pagan female sometimes-kitten.

Queer - I choose to label myself as queer instead of bisexual because I don't believe in the binary construct of gender. As I have seen with many people that I know, gender is a fluid thing. While there are some people who feel that they are either male or female, there are are others who do not. I thought about using the term "pansexual", but that just makes me feel like a god with goat legs. Therefore, queer is the best term for me as I am attracted to people no matter what gender(s) they identify as.

I also like the term queer because I feel that it goes beyond just who I'm attracted to and encompasses other areas of my sexuality.

Polyamorous - lordaerith and I practice polyamory, or having multiple committed loving relationships. Besides Aerith, I am currently in long-term relationships with artemis42 and gailmom. I love all three of them very much. When people ask why I'm poly I generally tell them that I suck at being monogamous. I'd rather be open about my feelings and attractions to other people and see where they lead, then have to hide part of me. I'm just fortunate enough to have found a wonderful partner who feels the same way.

Kinky - I think in many ways this is the hardest one for me to talk about publicly. I am kinky. I enjoy BDSM. I've been kinky my whole life, before I even knew there were words for it. Even before I had sexual fantasies I had abduction ones (mostly involving She-Ra and the Horde). Once again I was fortunate enough to have a partner who was willing to embark on this crazy ride with me and see where it goes. In the past year, the two of us have become more involved in the Austin "Scene" and have started to deepen our own BDSM practice and slowly develop a healthy D/s relationship.

Geeky - I'm a geek. Not a shock I'm sure. I like science fiction and fantasy books, tv, and movies. I like role playing games, video games, and MMORPGs (like World of Warcraft). I carry a set of dice in my purse. I can talk to you for hours about ancient cultures. I go to Ren Faires. I've done tech support and lose track of time when I code. I am proud to be a geek.

Pagan - I been pagan since high school, even though I didn't realize that's what it was until I spent my gap year in England, read Mists of Avalon, and started researching Wicca. I prefer to identify as "eclectically pagan" because I like to go with whatever resonates with me at any given time. I believe that god/the divine is in everything and is made up of everything, but is greater than the sum of the parts. I believe the divine has both a male and a female aspect (the God and Goddess), and all gods and goddesses are pieces of the divine that we need to see at that time (because there is no way we can comprehend the whole) and therefore all forms of worship are valid.

Female - I was born a biological woman and generally associate with the female gender, although sometimes I think I have the mentality of a 15 year old boy (what...fart jokes are totally funny!).

Sometimes-Kitten - Sometimes I'm a kitten. I like to get my head scritched and I like to purr when I'm happy.


As a fitting end to this post, here is a clip from Glee, where Kurt comes out to his father. I'm sorry the video quality is really dark, but it's the only clip of it I could find online.