unloved

[athene]

Some people may see this as being passive-agressive, but I don't care. this is my journal and i can write what i want in it, right?

Right now I'm feeling like I give and give and give and don't get anything back in return. Not totally true, I did get some cool stuff from my Secret Sweetheart in my dorm, but I don't even know who that was. :(.

First I gave to Nayone. Who was the one who remembered it was the 11th? ME. Who was the one who suggested getting her a rose? ME. Who had to remind Aerith to get the rose? ME. Who got her a really large Hearsey's Kiss and a card to be given to her on the Glee Club tour because she couldn't be with us on V-day? ME. Have I gotten anything back? No, not really. I mean kisses and looks of appreciation are nice. And I KNOW she's really busy right now and I know she doesn't have much money. But if i could think to buy a card for her right under her nose, she could have done the same. But who knows, maybe she'll have gotten me something nice for when she gets back from the trip.

Then Aerith. Nayone and I got him some candy. Who said vocally that we should do this? ME. Do I get anything in return? No. I get a "I was going to get you something, but I didn't have time." And then later I get a "well, why should I have to express my love for you more on one day? my love has no bounds." Yeah, well...that's fine and all, but we were at a store. He could have gotten me something then with a "go check out that aisle over there."

And Amythyst. My not-a-girlfriend. I even sent her a c-card. Did I get a thank you? Did I get a card back? NO.

WHY ME? HOWCOME NO ONE GETS ME ANYTHING? I WANT MATERIAL THINGS TOO YOU KNOW. Even cybercards are nice. And they are free.

It hurst. And now all you motherfuckers out there are going to post that you do care about me and that you love me a lot and you are going to send me late e-cards and crap. Well, fuck that. If you couldn't think of it on your own I sure as hell don't want your belated sympathy now.

Fuck it. you probably won't do that anyway because no one ever responds to my posts in the first place so who the fuck cares any more????????

I'm suppostesd to be showering. I'm supposted to be doing something nice for Aerith that we talked about. Well fuck it. If he couldn't do something extra special nice for me yesterday I don't feel like do this extra special nice thing for him. And I don't care how fucking disapointed he is. because I am really disapointed right now.

Comments

heh

[polymexina.livejournal.com]

<3

i'm not gonna be like whatever about your day because i don't really know you well enough to know what things to say that would make you feel better. all i can really say is that nayone cares about you *a lot,* and maybe part of the problem is that like she doesn't know what you're expecting of her or whatever. you can't test people without telling them first, you know what i mean? i dunno.

IM me later if you want.

In small defense of Amythyst....

[morganminstrel.livejournal.com]

...she was barely conscious most of yesterday. (Having *serious* sleeping disorder problems that she won't go see a doctor for, but I digress.) She barely wound up talking to *me* yesterday before getting off the phone because of a headache.

There's that and then there's the fact that she's not very organized in general these days.....

So I would pay little heed to her forgetting to return an e-card or an e-mail at this point...all things going well, she'll be back on track soon and you'll hear from her.

Of course, this doesn't give you reason to not be unhappy...but I know she misses you. She's just not doing so well at remembering things like cards and stuff at the moment.

Oh, and by the way.....

[morganminstrel.livejournal.com]

*HHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!*

(you sound like you need that...)

(and a little one:)

*hug!*

:-)

[safirerings.livejournal.com]

That sucks, hon. The upside is that now they have to go be extra-nice to you because you're sad.

[sinsselfchosen.livejournal.com]

email me your postal address.

don't ask, just do it. you'll like the result.

(please?)

[threegee.livejournal.com]

sure, i'll be nice to you. no, wait. lemme think. nope, sorry. imagine me thumbing my nose at you.

Valentines

[queencimmy.livejournal.com]

Remember that time that Zoe and Laura were down for Mardi Gras and Lundi Gras was Valentines and their parents gave them things and our parents didn't give us stuff? Yeah...

Re: Valentines

[athene.livejournal.com]

umm...no.

[catling42.livejournal.com]

rawr you, i got you a valentine! so i'm a little bit late . . . *g* but i do totally know where you're coming from, and it totally sucks. with my ex-gf, i was always giving stuff and love and just yeah and holding her and whatever and she just didn't. and it sucked. a lot. ::hugs you:: i know i mentioned this to you already. but i felt like leaving it in a comment, as well. cope. and you can always come talk to me . .