errrg. boys!

[athene]

Well, at least my falling in love with DV has let me realize just how deeply I love Aerith. He is so wonderful.

So, back to the DV issue. why? why oh why does it hurt so much? I haven't felt this way in so long! I e-mailed him yesterday explaining that i was in a poly relationship. He wrote back saying that he didn't want to break up my monogomus relationship. gggrrrrrrrrr. but he's christian and he doesn't understand. but he is so cute and he loves me too. and we'll catch each other's eye in class and just smile at each other. it hurts so much. i want to be with him so dearly. we stood for a little while today just holding each other. my head fits so nicely on his shoulder. i want to hold him, i want to hug him, i want to kiss him. more so than with anyone else, after Aerith (of course).

we will be having a long talk tommorow. i'm scared. we have a lot of stuff to tell each other. WHY CAN'T HE UNDERSTAND? I guess it has something to do with his looking too much to the future. I guess I'm not exactly the kind of girl he can bring home to his minister daddy. it's SO Rikk and Alisin (from FAANS!). *L*

my heart hurts. The only thing that lessens the hurt is remembering my love for Aerith. I love him so much. I don't know what i would do without him. He is so strong in so many ways. Knowing there is at least one person in this world who loves me and whom I love and that we can share this love and understand each other so well is what will bring me through this. I know it.

Comments

poly ;)

[kiten.livejournal.com]

aH! iS THAT (grr..caps lock) what you wanted to talk about last night? I'm so sorry I didn't let you guys come over. I was SO ill and cranky and just didn't want to subject anyone to that. I'm sorry!

So, speaking as a past monogamous person, it is possible to come to understand and embrace poly. Do you have books you can let him borrow? The Ethical Slut or Polyamory, the new way of loving I think it's called.

Hmm...people in the Bible were poly. King David had lots of wives and some male lovers too didn't he? And so did Solomon I think. There's no actual commandment that states you can only love one person and be in one relationship. It just says don't steal your neighboors booty. *grin*

Jesus was poly! He loved everyone equally :) Have you tried posting to the poly community here and asking for views from poly Christians?

good luck sweetie! It's worth the work :)

Re: poly ;)

[athene.livejournal.com]

It's ok. I've just been working on this all week or so. grrr. The week before thanksgiving is SO not my week! Yeah, i did want to talk to you about it, but Aerith and I have talked a lot and DV and I are going to be talking tonight. oh boy. kind of scary. yup yup.

I'll see you tommorow.