home, or the place where i live

[athene]

Yay for daylight. I got home today before it was even dark.

Home...it's interesting but I still think of my mother's house in New Orleans as "home". I was thinking about this at the Cave when I lay down alone on Munin's bed for a while and really looked at his room: the bed, the walls, the shelves. Then I started thinking about my home, my apartment and how sometimes it still doesn't feel like mine. This is not against Aerith in any sort of way, but sometimes I still feel that it is "his" place. I mean, i've had all my stuff here for over nine months and been on the lease for 6 months. I have my own dresser, alter, and night table in the bedroom. My own bookshelf and desk in the study. I bought the dishes and a lot of the pans. And yet somehow it's not MINE. It doesn't have my mark. Maybe because I still think of the bed as Aerith's. Maybe because the tv/vcr/stereo is his. Maybe because the apartment was his 2 years before it was mine. I want to put stuff on the walls. To claim the space as belonging to me. To feel fully moved in. But I don't yet. And the posters aren't going to go up until we paint the walls if we decide to stay here another year, or we'd just have to take them down if we decide to move. But still. I want a place that i feel is mine...no, i want a place that i feel is OURS together (all 3 of us). That we all share, that no one "visits", that has everyone's mark in it. A place that's a home

Comments

[ambermoon.livejournal.com]

"Home" is an interesting term, as is the concept of claiming space, or being claimed by it. I lived in my house in Sharon for 14 years and it's still more familiar than any other space, but there's been something empty about it ever since my dad moved out. Since then it's steadily become less and less "home," and it can't ever really gain it back. I hope you find some space that feels comfortable for you, however you define it.

Where the heart is...

[darktouch.livejournal.com]

I'm still in the process of moving into my new "home" so I know where you're coming from. For a long time I've been homeless. Alyson had her appartment, but the house where most of my stuff was belong to Keith.. not me. I'm really lucky that now that we've in together it is like starting over and it feels fresh. It'll come in time.. but you might have to do something drastic.. paint a room maybe?

[steppenwolff.livejournal.com]

I only lived in "my own home" for bout a year... trying to finish school+work issues made me choose to give that up. Having had that, I feel its absence strongly. The solitude or choice of company, the ability to mold my home space to just what I need, and the lack of the difficulties that arise from roomies... miss that very much. so I know how you feel. I have been dreaming of the things i'm gonna do with my place when I get it again... :) cant wait.